








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 492 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 342 matches | ||
| Faceit | 25 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 3 matches | ||
| Wingman | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 13 different maps





Our logs show 80 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




27 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4128 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 17,450 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3823 | 22% |
| Smokes | 5147 | 29% |
| HE Grenades | 4227 | 24% |
| Molotovs | 4253 | 24% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,580,979 of utility $159 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 512 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #14 | Snibbels™ | 48% | 84 |
| #15 | MaGgiX | 47% | 114 |
| #16 | Kenji | 46% | 124 |
| #17 | Tommowish | 41% | 68 |
| #18 | xX_Neck_Xx | 37% | 27 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | MaGgiX | 10 | 0.0042 |
| #2 | NOname | 6 | 0.0015 |
| #3 | Kenji | 6 | 0.0023 |
| #4 | Atominat1on | 6 | 0.0038 |
| #5 | HomofĂĽrst II. | 6 | 0.0040 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | HomofĂĽrst II. | 352 | 0.23 | 8 min |
| #2 | Darki | 308 | 0.14 | 7 min |
| #3 | Atominat1on | 298 | 0.19 | 7 min |
| #4 | Kenji | 236 | 0.09 | 8 min |
| #5 | NOname | 232 | 0.06 | 4 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | obeey | +2.67 | 82 | 66 |
| #2 | TheBanana | +2.22 | 74 | 57 |
| #3 | sadge | +2.19 | 77 | 66 |
| #4 | Kenji | +2.17 | 85 | 74 |
| #5 | Smartii | +1.76 | 83 | 68 |





