








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 308 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Dust2 | 182 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 81 matches | ||
| Premier | 60 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 44 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 36 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 20 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 19 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 17 matches | ||
| Faceit | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 30 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




17 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3046 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 13,995 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 5246 | 37% |
| Smokes | 3958 | 28% |
| HE Grenades | 1564 | 11% |
| Molotovs | 3227 | 23% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,441,410 of utility $145 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 42 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ♛ | 57% | 68 |
| #2 | GuM | 50% | 119 |
| #3 | SnoopMeow | 47% | 93 |
| #4 | zeal | 46% | 48 |
| #5 | bot frag | 45% | 49 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #11 | Branx | 40% | 60 |
| #12 | nuts666 | 38% | 77 |
| #13 | MrSprayNpray | 37% | 38 |
| #14 | 淺淺爱吃McFlurry™ | 35% | 31 |
| #15 | Arnab | 30% | 37 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | SnoopMeow | 7 | 0.0037 |
| #2 | GuM | 5 | 0.0021 |
| #3 | nuts666 | 4 | 0.0026 |
| #4 | KOOSTA | 4 | 0.0036 |
| #5 | MrSprayNpray | 4 | 0.0051 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | GuM | 658 | 0.28 | 17 min |
| #2 | SnoopMeow | 431 | 0.23 | 11 min |
| #3 | ♛ | 291 | 0.21 | 7 min |
| #4 | nuts666 | 282 | 0.18 | 8 min |
| #5 | 淺淺爱吃McFlurry™ | 257 | 0.41 | 6 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | GuM | +5.63 | 85 | 72 |
| #2 | zeal | +3.99 | 69 | 75 |
| #3 | Branx | +3.63 | 72 | 35 |
| #4 | ♛ | +3.35 | 71 | 80 |
| #5 | dino | +1.84 | 68 | 77 |





