








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 122 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 123 matches | ||
| Faceit | 31 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 2 matches | ||
| Wingman | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 14 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




15 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1875 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 8,466 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2751 | 32% |
| Smokes | 2375 | 28% |
| HE Grenades | 1345 | 16% |
| Molotovs | 1995 | 24% |
Our logs show you have wasted $321,059 of utility $78 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 75 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | LeGod | 67% | 15 |
| #2 | DotZ. | 53% | 15 |
| #3 | poogs | 53% | 90 |
| #4 | finger | 53% | 76 |
| #5 | Eisbär | 51% | 39 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | poogs | 53% | 90 |
| #4 | finger | 53% | 76 |
| #5 | Eisbär | 51% | 39 |
| #6 | Dobby | 51% | 71 |
| #7 | Burns | 48% | 58 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Burns | 8 | 0.0063 |
| #2 | finger | 7 | 0.0043 |
| #3 | Eisbär | 6 | 0.0065 |
| #4 | poogs | 5 | 0.0026 |
| #5 | DotZ. | 2 | 0.0058 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | finger | 277 | 0.17 | 6 min |
| #2 | Eisbär | 252 | 0.27 | 7 min |
| #3 | Burns | 183 | 0.14 | 5 min |
| #4 | poogs | 136 | 0.07 | 4 min |
| #5 | DotZ. | 73 | 0.21 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Eisbär | +3.90 | 83 | 68 |
| #2 | DotZ. | +2.90 | 80 | 60 |
| #3 | LeGod | +2.82 | 70 | 59 |
| #4 | Rawr | +1.22 | 75 | 72 |
| #5 | Burns | +0.61 | 55 | 60 |





