








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 24 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September


The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 180 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 9 matches | ||
| Faceit | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 8 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




8 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1433 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 6,395 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1640 | 26% |
| Smokes | 1800 | 28% |
| HE Grenades | 1135 | 18% |
| Molotovs | 1820 | 28% |
Our logs show you have wasted $969,459 of utility $178 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 638 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | vodca ☭ | 52% | 128 |
| #2 | emile | 50% | 16 |
| #3 | will | 50% | 100 |
| #4 | kai | 47% | 102 |
| #5 | DJ | 47% | 15 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | will | 50% | 100 |
| #4 | kai | 47% | 102 |
| #5 | DJ | 47% | 15 |
| #6 | Note | 45% | 20 |
| #7 | ✪ KaKalitツ | 41% | 79 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | kai | 26 | 0.0118 |
| #2 | will | 18 | 0.0084 |
| #3 | vodca ☭ | 7 | 0.0025 |
| #4 | ✪ KaKalitツ | 5 | 0.0030 |
| #5 | emile | 3 | 0.0088 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | vodca ☭ | 742 | 0.27 | 21 min |
| #2 | ✪ KaKalitツ | 304 | 0.18 | 7 min |
| #3 | kai | 266 | 0.12 | 6 min |
| #4 | will | 191 | 0.09 | 5 min |
| #5 | DJ | 97 | 0.29 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | DJ | +3.76 | 83 | 73 |
| #2 | emile | +3.59 | 92 | 18 |
| #3 | vodca ☭ | +1.88 | 84 | 67 |
| #4 | will | +1.82 | 79 | 51 |
| #5 | kai | +1.81 | 69 | 44 |





