








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 31 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 55 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 5 matches | ||
| Faceit | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 3 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




15 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1476 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 4,603 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1203 | 26% |
| Smokes | 1128 | 25% |
| HE Grenades | 1227 | 27% |
| Molotovs | 1045 | 23% |
Our logs show you have wasted $310,392 of utility $108 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 30 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ✪ KaKalitツ | 50% | 8 |
| #2 | will | 50% | 12 |
| #3 | vodca ☭ | 48% | 25 |
| #4 | kai | 45% | 22 |
| #5 | -Quiz- | 45% | 20 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | kai | 6 | 0.0127 |
| #2 | will | 2 | 0.0076 |
| #3 | ✪ KaKalitツ | 2 | 0.0118 |
| #4 | Giant moose | 2 | 0.0141 |
| #5 | vodca ☭ | 1 | 0.0019 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | vodca ☭ | 154 | 0.29 | 4 min |
| #2 | kai | 63 | 0.13 | 1 min |
| #3 | -Quiz- | 52 | 0.12 | 1 min |
| #4 | ✪ KaKalitツ | 35 | 0.21 | 1 min |
| #5 | will | 32 | 0.12 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | vodca ☭ | +3.18 | 85 | 67 |
| #2 | kai | +1.67 | 76 | 37 |
| #3 | ✪ KaKalitツ | +1.54 | 87 | 62 |
| #4 | Note | +0.87 | 82 | 61 |
| #5 | will | +0.66 | 71 | 57 |





