








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 59 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 50 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 4 matches | ||
| Premier | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 2 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




19 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1333 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 920 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 232 | 25% |
| Smokes | 222 | 24% |
| HE Grenades | 281 | 31% |
| Molotovs | 185 | 20% |
Our logs show you have wasted $174,617 of utility $77 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 122 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #11 | TurnedUpSideDown | 41% | 29 |
| #12 | Milk | 40% | 20 |
| #13 | KennyK | 36% | 11 |
| #14 | vodca ☭ | 33% | 18 |
| #15 | jelqing jouster | 31% | 13 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Jimmer | 184 | 0.20 | 4 min |
| #2 | deejay | 162 | 0.28 | 4 min |
| #3 | Titan_ | 113 | 0.17 | 3 min |
| #4 | TurnedUpSideDown | 112 | 0.19 | 2 min |
| #5 | will | 102 | 0.14 | 3 min |





