








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 380 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 186 matches | ||
| Faceit | 25 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 3 matches | ||
| Wingman | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 16 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




24 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2565 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 7,844 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3697 | 47% |
| Smokes | 2208 | 28% |
| HE Grenades | 204 | 3% |
| Molotovs | 1735 | 22% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,038,770 of utility $169 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 588 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | MPHALLDAY | 68% | 22 |
| #2 | ✪s0rtie | 67% | 18 |
| #3 | kai | 53% | 109 |
| #4 | vodca ☭ | 52% | 118 |
| #5 | will | 50% | 84 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | vodca ☭ | 52% | 118 |
| #5 | will | 50% | 84 |
| #6 | -Quiz- | 41% | 79 |
| #7 | Chrxme. | 35% | 26 |
| #8 | PhantomChaos | 33% | 24 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | kai | 24 | 0.0102 |
| #2 | will | 13 | 0.0070 |
| #3 | vodca ☭ | 10 | 0.0040 |
| #4 | -Quiz- | 4 | 0.0024 |
| #5 | Chrxme. | 3 | 0.0052 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | vodca ☭ | 664 | 0.27 | 18 min |
| #2 | kai | 275 | 0.12 | 7 min |
| #3 | -Quiz- | 214 | 0.13 | 6 min |
| #4 | ✪s0rtie | 190 | 0.55 | 7 min |
| #5 | will | 169 | 0.09 | 5 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ✪s0rtie | +4.54 | 71 | 80 |
| #2 | Chrxme. | +2.55 | 81 | 64 |
| #3 | kai | +1.68 | 69 | 49 |
| #4 | vodca ☭ | +1.38 | 82 | 68 |
| #5 | will | +0.89 | 81 | 54 |





