








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1013 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 344 matches | ||
| Faceit | 38 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 2 matches | ||
| Wingman | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 47 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




23 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
5187 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 18,415 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 7812 | 42% |
| Smokes | 4319 | 23% |
| HE Grenades | 2049 | 11% |
| Molotovs | 4235 | 23% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,068,068 of utility $111 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1935 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | kai | 36 | 0.0086 |
| #2 | will | 20 | 0.0057 |
| #3 | ✪ KaKalitツ | 15 | 0.0060 |
| #4 | -Quiz- | 5 | 0.0018 |
| #5 | Note | 3 | 0.0056 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ✪ KaKalitツ | 507 | 0.20 | 13 min |
| #2 | kai | 481 | 0.11 | 11 min |
| #3 | -Quiz- | 368 | 0.13 | 10 min |
| #4 | will | 352 | 0.10 | 9 min |
| #5 | DJ | 223 | 0.29 | 7 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | DJ | +2.40 | 82 | 70 |
| #2 | vodca ☭ | +1.44 | 84 | 67 |
| #3 | will | +1.38 | 80 | 54 |
| #4 | kai | +1.28 | 64 | 44 |
| #5 | ✪ KaKalitツ | -0.27 | 76 | 57 |





