








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 367 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 246 matches | ||
| Faceit | 79 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 9 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




48 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4096 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 9,205 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2565 | 28% |
| Smokes | 2295 | 25% |
| HE Grenades | 2235 | 24% |
| Molotovs | 2110 | 23% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,106,498 of utility $134 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1040 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | emile | 53% | 32 |
| #2 | vodca ☭ | 52% | 165 |
| #3 | ✪ KaKalitツ | 50% | 84 |
| #4 | -Quiz- | 50% | 100 |
| #5 | kai | 49% | 250 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | emile | 53% | 32 |
| #2 | vodca ☭ | 52% | 165 |
| #3 | ✪ KaKalitツ | 50% | 84 |
| #4 | -Quiz- | 50% | 100 |
| #5 | kai | 49% | 250 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | kai | 46 | 0.0086 |
| #2 | vodca ☭ | 11 | 0.0031 |
| #3 | ✪ KaKalitツ | 9 | 0.0049 |
| #4 | -Quiz- | 6 | 0.0028 |
| #5 | emile | 3 | 0.0041 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | vodca ☭ | 973 | 0.28 | 27 min |
| #2 | kai | 688 | 0.13 | 16 min |
| #3 | ✪ KaKalitツ | 388 | 0.21 | 11 min |
| #4 | -Quiz- | 221 | 0.10 | 5 min |
| #5 | emile | 27 | 0.04 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | vodca ☭ | +1.44 | 83 | 69 |
| #2 | kai | +1.26 | 66 | 45 |
| #3 | will | +1.06 | 79 | 54 |
| #4 | emile | +0.10 | 91 | 32 |
| #5 | ✪ KaKalitツ | -1.62 | 69 | 54 |





