








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 14 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 48 matches | ||
| Faceit | 41 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 23 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 21 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 3 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




24 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1932 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 4,496 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1256 | 28% |
| Smokes | 1293 | 29% |
| HE Grenades | 734 | 16% |
| Molotovs | 1213 | 27% |
Our logs show you have wasted $775,312 of utility $181 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 0 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | AlexDrozdzii | 87% | 15 |
| #2 | TheSmooky | 78% | 23 |
| #3 | PARAFIT | 73% | 11 |
| #4 | Naymos | 69% | 36 |
| #5 | ADN | 67% | 18 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #8 | JoNSteR ツ ♥ | 63% | 16 |
| #9 | PatersonCH | 61% | 18 |
| #10 | bigflouz | 59% | 44 |
| #11 | Mel | 53% | 55 |
| #12 | T๏אเเк [CH] | 52% | 21 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | TheSmooky | 8 | 0.0189 |
| #2 | bigflouz | 7 | 0.0080 |
| #3 | Aiklight | 5 | 0.0046 |
| #4 | Naymos | 4 | 0.0056 |
| #5 | Mel | 3 | 0.0026 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Mel | 148 | 0.13 | 4 min |
| #2 | Aiklight | 135 | 0.12 | 3 min |
| #3 | bigflouz | 122 | 0.14 | 2 min |
| #4 | TheSmooky | 100 | 0.24 | 3 min |
| #5 | Naymos | 92 | 0.13 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | TheSmooky | +6.48 | 87 | 78 |
| #2 | Mel | +3.03 | 81 | 58 |
| #3 | yoqNv2 | +2.77 | 84 | 46 |
| #4 | JoNSteR ツ ♥ | +2.60 | 78 | 70 |
| #5 | ADN | +2.31 | 88 | 28 |





