








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 263 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 126 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 4 matches | ||
| Faceit | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 8 different maps





Our logs show 12 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




9 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1996 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 5,824 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1362 | 23% |
| Smokes | 2249 | 39% |
| HE Grenades | 928 | 16% |
| Molotovs | 1285 | 22% |
Our logs show you have wasted $713,726 of utility $160 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 14 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Duck Duck Goose | 61% | 23 |
| #2 | fx | 58% | 12 |
| #3 | RayZ. | 58% | 24 |
| #4 | asdff | 56% | 27 |
| #5 | Palidintank | 55% | 22 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #12 | LazyA | 41% | 22 |
| #13 | Patar | 37% | 27 |
| #14 | powerslave`s little girl | 36% | 42 |
| #15 | Dawwyl` | 32% | 19 |
| #16 | powerslave` | 27% | 11 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Momofairy | 4 | 0.0087 |
| #2 | EGGTART` | 3 | 0.0025 |
| #3 | bwitzkl | 2 | 0.0012 |
| #4 | Incipient | 2 | 0.0016 |
| #5 | asdff | 2 | 0.0036 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | bwitzkl | 233 | 0.14 | 6 min |
| #2 | powerslave`s little girl | 121 | 0.14 | 4 min |
| #3 | EatBaitPray | 109 | 0.20 | 2 min |
| #4 | asdff | 102 | 0.18 | 4 min |
| #5 | jin | 95 | 0.15 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | powerslave` | +3.45 | 73 | 57 |
| #2 | aeries | +2.01 | 83 | 53 |
| #3 | fx | +1.71 | 81 | 46 |
| #4 | jin | +1.50 | 78 | 67 |
| #5 | RayZ. | +1.49 | 59 | 59 |





