








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 184 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 113 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 34 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 25 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 21 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 21 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




11 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2409 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 8,688 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3342 | 38% |
| Smokes | 2332 | 27% |
| HE Grenades | 2019 | 23% |
| Molotovs | 995 | 11% |
Our logs show you have wasted $994,007 of utility $163 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 77 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | powerslave` | 71% | 17 |
| #2 | zewa | 66% | 32 |
| #3 | Deevos | 59% | 95 |
| #4 | Incipient | 58% | 83 |
| #5 | powerslave`s little girl | 52% | 83 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #15 | aeries | 46% | 81 |
| #16 | Patar | 44% | 91 |
| #17 | Kätpa | 37% | 30 |
| #18 | Lightsolace | 32% | 37 |
| #19 | AutumnPikachu | 31% | 16 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Deevos | 7 | 0.0036 |
| #2 | Gwappywappy | 6 | 0.0058 |
| #3 | powerslave`s little girl | 4 | 0.0023 |
| #4 | Mythwil | 4 | 0.0118 |
| #5 | RayZ. | 3 | 0.0022 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Deevos | 588 | 0.30 | 15 min |
| #2 | jin | 307 | 0.17 | 8 min |
| #3 | powerslave`s little girl | 230 | 0.13 | 6 min |
| #4 | pandino | 214 | 0.12 | 4 min |
| #5 | aeries | 187 | 0.11 | 4 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | powerslave` | +4.12 | 81 | 67 |
| #2 | Mythwil | +3.45 | 87 | 63 |
| #3 | aeries | +2.02 | 83 | 53 |
| #4 | EGGTART` | +1.84 | 62 | 59 |
| #5 | wake up jeff | +1.54 | 61 | 66 |





