








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 125 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 31 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 30 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 7 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




2 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
945 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 4,023 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 516 | 13% |
| Smokes | 1918 | 48% |
| HE Grenades | 551 | 14% |
| Molotovs | 1038 | 26% |
Our logs show you have wasted $300,999 of utility $74 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 87 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Deevos | 61% | 18 |
| #2 | bun bo hue | 56% | 25 |
| #3 | Incipient | 55% | 97 |
| #4 | incipient | 55% | 11 |
| #5 | jin | 53% | 34 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #12 | aeries | 37% | 27 |
| #13 | Gwappywappy | 36% | 33 |
| #14 | Momofairy | 33% | 15 |
| #15 | powerslave`s little girl | 29% | 17 |
| #16 | Lightsolace | 24% | 17 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | bwitzkl | 3 | 0.0016 |
| #2 | jin | 3 | 0.0044 |
| #3 | EGGTART` | 2 | 0.0018 |
| #4 | Gwappywappy | 2 | 0.0029 |
| #5 | RayZ. | 1 | 0.0019 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | bwitzkl | 344 | 0.18 | 9 min |
| #2 | pandino | 118 | 0.13 | 2 min |
| #3 | wake up jeff | 113 | 0.26 | 3 min |
| #4 | jin | 103 | 0.15 | 2 min |
| #5 | Incipient | 100 | 0.05 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | bun bo hue | +3.24 | 82 | 65 |
| #2 | aeries | +3.15 | 87 | 57 |
| #3 | EGGTART` | +2.84 | 69 | 60 |
| #4 | jin | +2.81 | 77 | 65 |
| #5 | RayZ. | +2.58 | 68 | 58 |





