








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 128 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 35 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 19 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 2 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




5 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1531 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 3,749 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 775 | 21% |
| Smokes | 1223 | 33% |
| HE Grenades | 842 | 22% |
| Molotovs | 909 | 24% |
Our logs show you have wasted $462,545 of utility $151 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 29 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | incipient | 88% | 8 |
| #2 | Deevos | 68% | 22 |
| #3 | pandino | 57% | 28 |
| #4 | jin | 56% | 34 |
| #5 | Incipient | 56% | 52 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #11 | Dawwyl` | 43% | 23 |
| #12 | Momofairy | 38% | 13 |
| #13 | crave4cake | 36% | 11 |
| #14 | powerslave`s little girl | 36% | 25 |
| #15 | LazyA | 33% | 9 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | bwitzkl | 3 | 0.0017 |
| #2 | aeries | 3 | 0.0025 |
| #3 | Momofairy | 3 | 0.0113 |
| #4 | Gwappywappy | 2 | 0.0069 |
| #5 | Incipient | 1 | 0.0009 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | bwitzkl | 333 | 0.19 | 9 min |
| #2 | jin | 141 | 0.20 | 4 min |
| #3 | aeries | 136 | 0.11 | 3 min |
| #4 | Deevos | 103 | 0.22 | 3 min |
| #5 | powerslave`s little girl | 88 | 0.17 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | aeries | +3.12 | 86 | 49 |
| #2 | incipient | +2.66 | 61 | 8 |
| #3 | jin | +2.20 | 77 | 67 |
| #4 | Deevos | +1.71 | 64 | 73 |
| #5 | EGGTART` | +1.66 | 65 | 58 |





