








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 330 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September


The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Nuke | 47 matches | ||
| Premier | 40 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 26 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 22 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 5 matches | ||
| Wingman | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 40 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




19 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1397 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 5,315 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1323 | 25% |
| Smokes | 681 | 13% |
| HE Grenades | 1890 | 36% |
| Molotovs | 1421 | 27% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,142,396 of utility $220 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 256 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | SaltySeadog35 | 55% | 31 |
| #2 | Lance Armstrong | 46% | 67 |
| #3 | user_14 | 46% | 81 |
| #4 | tastefulracist_01 | 43% | 104 |
| #5 | BigSchlipp | 41% | 17 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #9 | chunter | 37% | 19 |
| #10 | BIGMAC227 | 36% | 59 |
| #11 | Dr. Insano F. Maniac | 33% | 18 |
| #12 | {𝓝𝓦𝓖𝓒} The Lion | 31% | 39 |
| #13 | pretep | 27% | 44 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | airi ^v | 9 | 0.0031 |
| #2 | Lance Armstrong | 5 | 0.0037 |
| #3 | user_14 | 4 | 0.0026 |
| #4 | bober | 4 | 0.0060 |
| #5 | tastefulracist_01 | 2 | 0.0010 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | airi ^v | 311 | 0.11 | 6 min |
| #2 | Lance Armstrong | 206 | 0.15 | 4 min |
| #3 | user_14 | 141 | 0.09 | 3 min |
| #4 | BIGMAC227 | 126 | 0.11 | 3 min |
| #5 | tastefulracist_01 | 88 | 0.04 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | tastefulracist_01 | +3.21 | 58 | 51 |
| #2 | bober | +1.74 | 69 | 46 |
| #3 | chunter | +1.56 | 90 | 50 |
| #4 | user_14 | +0.48 | 31 | 51 |
| #5 | jacksonrocks01 | +0.26 | 55 | 18 |





