








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 913 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 167 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 66 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 55 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 50 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 29 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 26 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 26 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 16 matches | ||
| Wingman | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 3 matches | ||
| Faceit | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 48 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




24 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4560 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 14,369 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1248 | 9% |
| Smokes | 5324 | 37% |
| HE Grenades | 3907 | 27% |
| Molotovs | 3890 | 27% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,994,985 of utility $188 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 912 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #13 | wegbert76 | 44% | 41 |
| #14 | Tip Playa | 43% | 104 |
| #15 | BIGMAC227 | 43% | 74 |
| #16 | jacksonrocks01 | 41% | 75 |
| #17 | pretep | 39% | 31 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | airi ^v | 20 | 0.0028 |
| #2 | bober | 13 | 0.0070 |
| #3 | Tip Playa | 8 | 0.0039 |
| #4 | e1ch | 8 | 0.0093 |
| #5 | chunter | 7 | 0.0063 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | airi ^v | 584 | 0.08 | 10 min |
| #2 | Lance Armstrong | 372 | 0.16 | 7 min |
| #3 | Tip Playa | 250 | 0.12 | 6 min |
| #4 | {𝓝𝓦𝓖𝓒} The Lion | 219 | 0.09 | 5 min |
| #5 | e1ch | 173 | 0.20 | 3 min |





