








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 125 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 5 matches | ||
| Wingman | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 22 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




4 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1156 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 694 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 77 | 11% |
| Smokes | 294 | 42% |
| HE Grenades | 225 | 32% |
| Molotovs | 98 | 14% |
Our logs show you have wasted $439,303 of utility $148 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 83 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #10 | user_14 | 30% | 30 |
| #11 | pretep | 29% | 14 |
| #12 | BIGMAC227 | 27% | 30 |
| #13 | SaltySeadog35 | 26% | 23 |
| #14 | BigSchlipp | 25% | 8 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | airi ^v | 4 | 0.0023 |
| #2 | tastefulracist_01 | 4 | 0.0027 |
| #3 | Tip Playa | 3 | 0.0028 |
| #4 | bober | 3 | 0.0060 |
| #5 | user_14 | 2 | 0.0035 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | airi ^v | 176 | 0.10 | 3 min |
| #2 | Lance Armstrong | 106 | 0.18 | 2 min |
| #3 | {𝓝𝓦𝓖𝓒} The Lion | 92 | 0.09 | 2 min |
| #4 | Tip Playa | 91 | 0.09 | 2 min |
| #5 | Z2 | 55 | 0.23 | 1 min |





