








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 975 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Office | 133 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 77 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 66 matches | ||
| Premier | 60 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 54 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 44 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 35 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 34 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 24 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 22 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 18 matches | ||
| Competitive Palacio | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Golden | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Edin | 5 matches | ||
| Faceit | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Basalt | 3 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 20 different maps





Our logs show 71 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




21 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
5042 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 27,726 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 8344 | 30% |
| Smokes | 7633 | 28% |
| HE Grenades | 7248 | 26% |
| Molotovs | 4501 | 16% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,727,328 of utility $121 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 931 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | tastefulracist_01 | 49% | 114 |
| #2 | user_14 | 48% | 46 |
| #3 | Tip Playa | 46% | 67 |
| #4 | Saradomin | 46% | 48 |
| #5 | bober | 45% | 42 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | Saradomin | 46% | 48 |
| #5 | bober | 45% | 42 |
| #6 | airi ^v | 43% | 138 |
| #7 | BIGMAC227 | 40% | 40 |
| #8 | {𝓝𝓦𝓖𝓒} The Lion | 40% | 55 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Saradomin | 13 | 0.0143 |
| #2 | tastefulracist_01 | 8 | 0.0035 |
| #3 | airi ^v | 6 | 0.0022 |
| #4 | Tip Playa | 6 | 0.0044 |
| #5 | bober | 5 | 0.0059 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | airi ^v | 284 | 0.10 | 5 min |
| #2 | Tip Playa | 159 | 0.12 | 3 min |
| #3 | Saradomin | 120 | 0.13 | 2 min |
| #4 | {𝓝𝓦𝓖𝓒} The Lion | 93 | 0.09 | 2 min |
| #5 | user_14 | 84 | 0.09 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | tastefulracist_01 | +2.56 | 52 | 50 |
| #2 | Saradomin | +1.49 | 46 | 43 |
| #3 | user_14 | +1.18 | 46 | 50 |
| #4 | bober | +1.17 | 64 | 45 |
| #5 | Lance Armstrong | -0.75 | 29 | 61 |





