










System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 739 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 203 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 101 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 70 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 55 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 49 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 32 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 27 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 23 matches | ||
| Wingman | 20 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 8 matches | ||
| Faceit | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 4 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 64 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




36 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
5050 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 19,702 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 4610 | 23% |
| Smokes | 3499 | 18% |
| HE Grenades | 5110 | 26% |
| Molotovs | 6483 | 33% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,640,197 of utility $121 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1004 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #13 | {𝓝𝓦𝓖𝓒} The Lion | 34% | 199 |
| #14 | BIGMAC227 | 33% | 120 |
| #15 | BigSchlipp | 30% | 56 |
| #16 | jacksonrocks01 | 30% | 89 |
| #17 | pretep | 23% | 44 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | tastefulracist_01 | 16 | 0.0022 |
| #2 | bober | 12 | 0.0043 |
| #3 | Tip Playa | 11 | 0.0038 |
| #4 | chunter | 10 | 0.0053 |
| #5 | toshiroKing | 10 | 0.0073 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Lance Armstrong | 472 | 0.17 | 9 min |
| #2 | {𝓝𝓦𝓖𝓒} The Lion | 321 | 0.08 | 7 min |
| #3 | Tip Playa | 302 | 0.11 | 6 min |
| #4 | tastefulracist_01 | 243 | 0.03 | 5 min |
| #5 | bober | 236 | 0.09 | 4 min |





