








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 944 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 400 matches | ||
| Faceit | 205 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 15 different maps





Our logs show 42 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




39 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
5062 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 27,425 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 8393 | 31% |
| Smokes | 7980 | 29% |
| HE Grenades | 4663 | 17% |
| Molotovs | 6389 | 23% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,891,479 of utility $186 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 294 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | virx1 | 57% | 72 |
| #2 | Ericcc | 55% | 84 |
| #3 | Clingnasty | 54% | 52 |
| #4 | [!]nc | 53% | 68 |
| #5 | PlzMoar | 53% | 68 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #9 | sletong | 46% | 39 |
| #10 | Cagey | 44% | 45 |
| #11 | Cluuless | 44% | 59 |
| #12 | sloppy bill on the pill | 39% | 38 |
| #13 | holycow | 34% | 50 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | virx1 | 6 | 0.0036 |
| #2 | Ericcc | 4 | 0.0021 |
| #3 | PlzMoar | 4 | 0.0024 |
| #4 | deckle- | 3 | 0.0020 |
| #5 | Cagey | 3 | 0.0031 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | playstationpizza | 415 | 0.17 | 11 min |
| #2 | virx1 | 345 | 0.21 | 8 min |
| #3 | PlzMoar | 318 | 0.19 | 8 min |
| #4 | deckle- | 279 | 0.18 | 6 min |
| #5 | Cagey | 249 | 0.25 | 7 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Garbafarbagar | +4.40 | 81 | 64 |
| #2 | Ericcc | +2.00 | 73 | 53 |
| #3 | deckle- | +1.64 | 71 | 62 |
| #4 | playstationpizza | +0.63 | 64 | 68 |
| #5 | Cluuless | -0.08 | 63 | 63 |





