








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 456 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 184 matches | ||
| Premier | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 7 different maps





Our logs show 21 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




2 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1956 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 5,890 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1198 | 20% |
| Smokes | 1274 | 22% |
| HE Grenades | 1717 | 29% |
| Molotovs | 1701 | 29% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,003,223 of utility $220 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 11 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | sugus | 55% | 29 |
| #2 | ᶠʳᶦˢᵇ rasse! | 50% | 22 |
| #3 | FaZe allu | 48% | 29 |
| #4 | beenman | 48% | 162 |
| #5 | trapezoid | 47% | 38 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #7 | angry | 46% | 149 |
| #8 | osumaslayer | 45% | 47 |
| #9 | Erska | 45% | 74 |
| #10 | tamago | 44% | 100 |
| #11 | arabikemali | 29% | 17 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | tamago | 2 | 0.0009 |
| #2 | Jutaami | 1 | 0.0005 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | angry | 598 | 0.18 | 18 min |
| #2 | Jutaami | 416 | 0.20 | 12 min |
| #3 | beenman | 356 | 0.10 | 11 min |
| #4 | tamago | 296 | 0.13 | 7 min |
| #5 | Erska | 221 | 0.13 | 7 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Jutaami | +1.34 | 82 | 71 |
| #2 | angry | +0.58 | 67 | 74 |
| #3 | beenman | +0.53 | 66 | 69 |
| #4 | tamago | -0.23 | 64 | 69 |
| #5 | osumaslayer | -0.28 | 60 | 65 |





