








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 748 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 404 matches | ||
| Premier | 30 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 4 matches | ||
| Wingman | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 71 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




6 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
5215 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 18,209 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 4651 | 26% |
| Smokes | 4781 | 26% |
| HE Grenades | 4068 | 22% |
| Molotovs | 4709 | 26% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,705,909 of utility $160 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 53 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Erska | 57% | 221 |
| #2 | trapezoid | 56% | 121 |
| #3 | FaZe allu | 55% | 110 |
| #4 | Jutaami | 53% | 131 |
| #5 | sugus | 53% | 80 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #8 | pro.bolboquic | 48% | 31 |
| #9 | arabikemali | 47% | 74 |
| #10 | ᶠʳᶦˢᵇ rasse! | 47% | 70 |
| #11 | osumaslayer | 46% | 151 |
| #12 | WindyWalk | 44% | 100 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Erska | 4 | 0.0008 |
| #2 | ᶠʳᶦˢᵇ rasse! | 2 | 0.0013 |
| #3 | Jutaami | 1 | 0.0003 |
| #4 | arabikemali | 1 | 0.0006 |
| #5 | pro.bolboquic | 1 | 0.0015 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | angry | 1082 | 0.16 | 29 min |
| #2 | beenman | 712 | 0.09 | 25 min |
| #3 | Erska | 620 | 0.13 | 16 min |
| #4 | Jutaami | 593 | 0.20 | 18 min |
| #5 | osumaslayer | 363 | 0.11 | 10 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Jutaami | +1.74 | 82 | 69 |
| #2 | beenman | +1.10 | 70 | 69 |
| #3 | angry | +0.63 | 66 | 73 |
| #4 | tamago | +0.60 | 65 | 68 |
| #5 | osumaslayer | +0.43 | 64 | 67 |





