








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1472 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 239 matches | ||
| Premier | 111 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 20 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 7 different maps





Our logs show 98 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




10 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4683 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 14,291 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 4944 | 35% |
| Smokes | 3274 | 23% |
| HE Grenades | 3768 | 26% |
| Molotovs | 2305 | 16% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,958,644 of utility $222 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 191 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | arabikemali | 57% | 37 |
| #2 | FaZe allu | 56% | 84 |
| #3 | osumaslayer | 55% | 107 |
| #4 | Erska | 55% | 117 |
| #5 | tamago | 53% | 131 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #6 | beenman | 53% | 364 |
| #7 | angry | 53% | 216 |
| #8 | WindyWalk | 47% | 93 |
| #9 | trapezoid | 41% | 34 |
| #10 | ᶠʳᶦˢᵇ rasse! | 39% | 33 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | beenman | 3 | 0.0004 |
| #2 | WindyWalk | 2 | 0.0009 |
| #3 | FaZe allu | 1 | 0.0005 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | beenman | 857 | 0.11 | 26 min |
| #2 | angry | 809 | 0.17 | 23 min |
| #3 | Erska | 333 | 0.13 | 9 min |
| #4 | tamago | 321 | 0.11 | 8 min |
| #5 | osumaslayer | 186 | 0.08 | 5 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Jutaami | +1.96 | 83 | 67 |
| #2 | beenman | +0.25 | 65 | 67 |
| #3 | angry | +0.25 | 64 | 72 |
| #4 | osumaslayer | +0.01 | 63 | 65 |
| #5 | Erska | -0.35 | 67 | 71 |





