








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 353 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 311 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 14 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




13 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3804 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 12,040 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2945 | 24% |
| Smokes | 3024 | 25% |
| HE Grenades | 3396 | 28% |
| Molotovs | 2675 | 22% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,035,737 of utility $136 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 68 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Fediir | 69% | 32 |
| #2 | mae/hc | 65% | 63 |
| #3 | uΓ«bshniK0T | 64% | 22 |
| #4 | SieGe | 62% | 117 |
| #5 | R O T O R | 61% | 36 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #9 | MERC | 60% | 204 |
| #10 | stefan bellof | 59% | 327 |
| #11 | RichSwitch | 52% | 29 |
| #12 | McRutch | 47% | 19 |
| #13 | syN | 47% | 19 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | π
Ίπ
°ππ
Όπ
° | 7 | 0.0011 |
| #2 | MERC | 7 | 0.0017 |
| #3 | stefan bellof | 3 | 0.0004 |
| #4 | SieGe | 3 | 0.0013 |
| #5 | tang | 2 | 0.0018 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | π
Ίπ
°ππ
Όπ
° | 1249 | 0.19 | 40 min |
| #2 | stefan bellof | 668 | 0.10 | 20 min |
| #3 | MERC | 393 | 0.09 | 10 min |
| #4 | SieGe | 341 | 0.14 | 9 min |
| #5 | tang | 246 | 0.22 | 7 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | frang | +1.81 | 82 | 68 |
| #2 | mae/hc | +1.80 | 79 | 58 |
| #3 | π
Ίπ
°ππ
Όπ
° | +1.52 | 78 | 79 |
| #4 | R O T O R | +0.90 | 85 | 58 |
| #5 | McRutch | +0.76 | 84 | 67 |





