








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 321 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 246 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 18 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 29 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




14 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3170 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 9,655 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2637 | 27% |
| Smokes | 2370 | 25% |
| HE Grenades | 2467 | 26% |
| Molotovs | 2181 | 23% |
Our logs show you have wasted $882,536 of utility $130 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 68 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | SieGe | 65% | 103 |
| #2 | RichSwitch | 64% | 39 |
| #3 | tang | 63% | 56 |
| #4 | π
Ίπ
°ππ
Όπ
° | 62% | 247 |
| #5 | R O T O R | 60% | 20 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #5 | R O T O R | 60% | 20 |
| #6 | stefan bellof | 60% | 249 |
| #7 | frang | 60% | 204 |
| #8 | Fediir | 57% | 49 |
| #9 | mae/hc | 54% | 50 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | frang | 6 | 0.0015 |
| #2 | stefan bellof | 4 | 0.0008 |
| #3 | π
Ίπ
°ππ
Όπ
° | 4 | 0.0008 |
| #4 | SieGe | 4 | 0.0021 |
| #5 | tang | 3 | 0.0025 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | π
Ίπ
°ππ
Όπ
° | 980 | 0.20 | 32 min |
| #2 | stefan bellof | 550 | 0.11 | 16 min |
| #3 | frang | 513 | 0.13 | 15 min |
| #4 | SieGe | 320 | 0.17 | 9 min |
| #5 | tang | 230 | 0.19 | 5 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | π
Ίπ
°ππ
Όπ
° | +1.70 | 78 | 79 |
| #2 | frang | +1.63 | 81 | 68 |
| #3 | R O T O R | +0.74 | 82 | 60 |
| #4 | RichSwitch | +0.72 | 86 | 61 |
| #5 | MERC | +0.68 | 80 | 65 |





