








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 502 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 92 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 29 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 15 matches | ||
| Premier | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 5 matches | ||
| Esplay | 3 matches | 2,010 | |
| Competitive Train | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 16 different maps





Our logs show 5 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




38 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2956 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 6,849 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2126 | 31% |
| Smokes | 1463 | 21% |
| HE Grenades | 1730 | 25% |
| Molotovs | 1530 | 22% |
Our logs show you have wasted $894,291 of utility $180 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 591 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | vauhtisami | 71% | 48 |
| #2 | KottiCarry | 71% | 17 |
| #3 | PIIPPO | 70% | 20 |
| #4 | Sammee | 70% | 50 |
| #5 | kalmarz | 69% | 49 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | kalmarz | 9 | 0.0086 |
| #2 | vauhtisami | 6 | 0.0060 |
| #3 | Sammee | 4 | 0.0041 |
| #4 | ellaaaa | 4 | 0.0082 |
| #5 | 예지 | 3 | 0.0043 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | 예지 | 187 | 0.27 | 5 min |
| #2 | kalmarz | 163 | 0.16 | 3 min |
| #3 | vauhtisami | 158 | 0.16 | 3 min |
| #4 | Sammee | 135 | 0.14 | 4 min |
| #5 | PIIPPO | 93 | 0.20 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | kalmarz | +4.38 | 90 | 58 |
| #2 | Sammee | +4.31 | 92 | 60 |
| #3 | KottiCarry | +4.06 | 91 | 46 |
| #4 | PIIPPO | +2.13 | 81 | 67 |
| #5 | Miksubb | +1.29 | 76 | 64 |





