








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 186 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September



The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Mirage | 30 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 28 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 28 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 18 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 14 matches | ||
| Premier | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 5 matches | ||
| Esplay | 4 matches | 1,398 | |
| Faceit | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 15 different maps





Our logs show 7 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




6 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
774 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 3,752 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 835 | 22% |
| Smokes | 1258 | 34% |
| HE Grenades | 750 | 20% |
| Molotovs | 909 | 24% |
Our logs show you have wasted $854,160 of utility $203 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 726 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #22 | ellaaaa | 27% | 11 |
| #23 | Pööpötin | 25% | 12 |
| #24 | neti | 21% | 19 |
| #25 | Snauli :* | 18% | 11 |
| #26 | fantsu | 18% | 11 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | kalmarz | 6 | 0.0236 |
| #2 | Miksubb | 5 | 0.0105 |
| #3 | ellaaaa | 4 | 0.0169 |
| #4 | vauhtisami | 3 | 0.0024 |
| #5 | japE | 3 | 0.0025 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | japE | 217 | 0.18 | 6 min |
| #2 | 예지 | 197 | 0.28 | 5 min |
| #3 | Sammee | 195 | 0.15 | 5 min |
| #4 | mark | 191 | 0.17 | 6 min |
| #5 | vauhtisami | 175 | 0.14 | 5 min |





