








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1808 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Mirage | 130 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 92 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 80 matches | ||
| Premier | 58 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 43 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 32 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 29 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 9 matches | ||
| Esplay | 7 matches | 2,139 | |
| Faceit | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Edin | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 2 matches | ||
| Wingman | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Agency | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 17 different maps





Our logs show 33 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




56 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
7653 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 16,923 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 4553 | 27% |
| Smokes | 3972 | 23% |
| HE Grenades | 4401 | 26% |
| Molotovs | 3997 | 24% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,841,421 of utility $163 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1006 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | PIIPPO | 75% | 44 |
| #2 | Miksubb | 70% | 50 |
| #3 | S1rva | 65% | 54 |
| #4 | ake | 64% | 53 |
| #5 | 예지 | 64% | 139 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | kalmarz | 39 | 0.0155 |
| #2 | vauhtisami | 38 | 0.0061 |
| #3 | Miksubb | 14 | 0.0144 |
| #4 | 예지 | 11 | 0.0040 |
| #5 | S1rva | 10 | 0.0096 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | vauhtisami | 878 | 0.14 | 20 min |
| #2 | 예지 | 655 | 0.24 | 17 min |
| #3 | kalmarz | 374 | 0.15 | 10 min |
| #4 | pormestari | 365 | 0.20 | 9 min |
| #5 | mark | 327 | 0.17 | 9 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | kalmarz | +5.25 | 91 | 62 |
| #2 | marab;> | +3.51 | 89 | 47 |
| #3 | ake | +3.17 | 89 | 62 |
| #4 | Sammee | +2.93 | 91 | 58 |
| #5 | KottiCarry | +2.39 | 90 | 54 |





