








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 968 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Mirage | 135 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 101 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 73 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 46 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 30 matches | ||
| Premier | 24 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 22 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 22 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 20 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 3 matches | ||
| Faceit | 3 matches | ||
| Esplay | 2 matches | 1,925 | |
| Wingman | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Edin | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 17 different maps





Our logs show 23 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




85 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
5692 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 16,026 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 4924 | 31% |
| Smokes | 2453 | 15% |
| HE Grenades | 4422 | 28% |
| Molotovs | 4227 | 26% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,527,280 of utility $138 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 613 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Miksubb | 71% | 48 |
| #2 | PIIPPO | 65% | 46 |
| #3 | Tane | 62% | 34 |
| #4 | kalmarz | 59% | 110 |
| #5 | marab;> | 59% | 34 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Sammee | 33 | 0.0053 |
| #2 | kalmarz | 28 | 0.0129 |
| #3 | 예지 | 14 | 0.0059 |
| #4 | Miksubb | 13 | 0.0129 |
| #5 | ellaaaa | 11 | 0.0041 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Sammee | 868 | 0.14 | 19 min |
| #2 | 예지 | 601 | 0.25 | 17 min |
| #3 | kalmarz | 302 | 0.14 | 8 min |
| #4 | BenZamYSS | #EZ4ENCE | 219 | 0.14 | 6 min |
| #5 | mark | 208 | 0.17 | 5 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | kalmarz | +5.28 | 94 | 60 |
| #2 | ake | +4.04 | 90 | 61 |
| #3 | marab;> | +3.93 | 87 | 48 |
| #4 | KottiCarry | +3.27 | 92 | 57 |
| #5 | Sammee | +3.07 | 91 | 58 |





