








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 156 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 41 matches | ||
| Faceit | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 7 matches | ||
| Wingman | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 3 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




16 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1151 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 2,184 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 253 | 12% |
| Smokes | 332 | 15% |
| HE Grenades | 877 | 40% |
| Molotovs | 722 | 33% |
Our logs show you have wasted $384,211 of utility $149 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 182 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #5 | ButteredNipples | 54% | 41 |
| #6 | slimmote | 49% | 41 |
| #7 | 6Foot6Mafia | 48% | 31 |
| #8 | we officially bussin | 46% | 35 |
| #9 | Hybr13 | 40% | 20 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ButteredNipples | 9 | 0.0104 |
| #2 | 6Foot6Mafia | 5 | 0.0074 |
| #3 | slimmote | 2 | 0.0023 |
| #4 | we officially bussin | 2 | 0.0027 |
| #5 | tanay2k | 2 | 0.0059 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | 6Foot6Mafia | 134 | 0.20 | 3 min |
| #2 | we officially bussin | 105 | 0.14 | 3 min |
| #3 | Hybr13 | 99 | 0.22 | 3 min |
| #4 | slimmote | 66 | 0.07 | 2 min |
| #5 | ButteredNipples | 48 | 0.06 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Swisher Sweet But My Sig Sauer | +1.13 | 61 | 32 |
| #2 | 6Foot6Mafia | +1.07 | 74 | 65 |
| #3 | tanay2k | +0.31 | 77 | 53 |
| #4 | ButteredNipples | +0.01 | 69 | 25 |
| #5 | we officially bussin | +0.00 | 79 | 49 |





