








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 175 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September



The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Nuke | 35 matches | ||
| Premier | 28 matches | ||
| Wingman | 27 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 6 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 9 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




7 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1253 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 7,178 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1886 | 26% |
| Smokes | 1447 | 20% |
| HE Grenades | 1884 | 26% |
| Molotovs | 1961 | 27% |
Our logs show you have wasted $609,396 of utility $141 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 325 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Nope The Lemon | 55% | 55 |
| #2 | boppy | 54% | 59 |
| #3 | JR^2 | 52% | 27 |
| #4 | BelligerentDan | 52% | 33 |
| #5 | Sproket_ | 48% | 79 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #7 | zyRo | 47% | 38 |
| #8 | Excel | 47% | 168 |
| #9 | Ghost | 47% | 77 |
| #10 | Honest | 45% | 67 |
| #11 | Gamma | 40% | 40 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Excel | 12 | 0.0036 |
| #2 | Dysfunksionl | 7 | 0.0039 |
| #3 | Sproket_ | 7 | 0.0043 |
| #4 | Ghost | 5 | 0.0033 |
| #5 | boppy | 5 | 0.0049 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Excel | 799 | 0.24 | 21 min |
| #2 | Sproket_ | 287 | 0.18 | 7 min |
| #3 | Dysfunksionl | 262 | 0.14 | 6 min |
| #4 | boppy | 227 | 0.22 | 6 min |
| #5 | BelligerentDan | 202 | 0.32 | 6 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Excel | +3.98 | 73 | 73 |
| #2 | Nope The Lemon | +1.79 | 66 | 48 |
| #3 | Ghost | +1.15 | 74 | 45 |
| #4 | boppy | +0.85 | 57 | 60 |
| #5 | Honest | +0.35 | 65 | 63 |





