








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 58 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 59 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 17 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




10 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
879 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 2,089 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 296 | 14% |
| Smokes | 763 | 37% |
| HE Grenades | 528 | 25% |
| Molotovs | 502 | 24% |
Our logs show you have wasted $325,574 of utility $133 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 183 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #5 | Gearheart | 36% | 11 |
| #6 | Puppy Boy Mitch | 36% | 11 |
| #7 | BOT Ringo | 36% | 22 |
| #8 | Seeky | 36% | 14 |
| #9 | Hugh Jabenis 2 | 0% | 7 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | cool gamer | 9 | 0.0093 |
| #2 | BOT Ringo | 4 | 0.0090 |
| #3 | Branch | 2 | 0.0026 |
| #4 | Dr. Pepper | 2 | 0.0050 |
| #5 | Seeky | 1 | 0.0034 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | BOT Ringo | 41 | 0.09 | 1 min |
| #2 | Seeky | 26 | 0.09 | 1 min |
| #3 | Puppy Boy Mitch | 25 | 0.12 | 0 min |
| #4 | Gearheart | 20 | 0.09 | 1 min |
| #5 | cool gamer | 11 | 0.01 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | cool gamer | +2.63 | 82 | 18 |
| #2 | ReturnoftheMac | +0.80 | 68 | 39 |
| #3 | Branch | -1.06 | 47 | 9 |
| #4 | BOT Ringo | -1.45 | 64 | 38 |
| #5 | Seeky | -1.93 | 54 | 49 |





