








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 183 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Train | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 16 different maps





Our logs show 6 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




42 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1611 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 2,488 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1030 | 41% |
| Smokes | 252 | 10% |
| HE Grenades | 437 | 18% |
| Molotovs | 769 | 31% |
Our logs show you have wasted $472,391 of utility $141 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 282 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | cool gamer | 45% | 44 |
| #2 | Gearheart | 42% | 24 |
| #3 | ReturnoftheMac | 36% | 22 |
| #4 | Branch | 34% | 143 |
| #5 | Dr. Pepper | 32% | 123 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | Branch | 34% | 143 |
| #5 | Dr. Pepper | 32% | 123 |
| #6 | i punt babies | 29% | 77 |
| #7 | Hugh Jabenis 2 | 27% | 15 |
| #8 | Puppy Boy Mitch | 14% | 14 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | cool gamer | 14 | 0.0165 |
| #2 | i punt babies | 12 | 0.0079 |
| #3 | Dr. Pepper | 9 | 0.0037 |
| #4 | Branch | 8 | 0.0028 |
| #5 | ReturnoftheMac | 2 | 0.0046 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Gearheart | 94 | 0.20 | 1 min |
| #2 | Puppy Boy Mitch | 48 | 0.17 | 1 min |
| #3 | ReturnoftheMac | 25 | 0.06 | 1 min |
| #4 | Branch | 11 | 0.00 | 0 min |
| #5 | cool gamer | 8 | 0.01 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | cool gamer | +4.75 | 91 | 7 |
| #2 | BOT Ringo | +2.70 | 72 | 41 |
| #3 | ReturnoftheMac | +0.97 | 60 | 35 |
| #4 | Branch | +0.45 | 41 | 12 |
| #5 | Gearheart | -0.90 | 54 | 46 |





