










System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 13 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Dust2 | 3 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 6 different maps





Our logs show 1 Chicken Has been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




1 of your human shaped victims was your teammate...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
118 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 295 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 123 | 42% |
| Smokes | 65 | 22% |
| HE Grenades | 40 | 14% |
| Molotovs | 67 | 23% |
Our logs show you have wasted $51,183 of utility $137 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 0 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | Puppy Boy Mitch | 40% | 5 |
| #4 | ReturnoftheMac | 36% | 14 |
| #5 | cool gamer | 30% | 10 |
| #6 | Branch | 20% | 10 |
| #7 | Dr. Pepper | 17% | 6 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ReturnoftheMac | 2 | 0.0068 |
| #2 | cool gamer | 2 | 0.0090 |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ReturnoftheMac | +2.16 | 73 | 52 |
| #2 | cool gamer | +2.05 | 80 | 14 |
| #3 | Branch | +0.13 | 41 | 7 |
| #4 | Puppy Boy Mitch | -0.56 | 65 | 50 |
| #5 | Seeky | -2.34 | 54 | 55 |





