








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 85 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September


The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Dust2 | 25 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 22 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 22 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Basalt | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 4 matches | ||
| Wingman | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Edin | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 20 different maps





Our logs show 8 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




15 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1802 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 545 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 89 | 16% |
| Smokes | 44 | 8% |
| HE Grenades | 305 | 56% |
| Molotovs | 107 | 20% |
Our logs show you have wasted $63,869 of utility $12 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 20 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ReturnoftheMac | 44% | 39 |
| #2 | cool gamer | 40% | 60 |
| #3 | Puppy Boy Mitch | 38% | 16 |
| #4 | Gearheart | 37% | 27 |
| #5 | Hugh Jabenis 2 | 35% | 20 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | Gearheart | 37% | 27 |
| #5 | Hugh Jabenis 2 | 35% | 20 |
| #6 | BOT Ringo | 34% | 143 |
| #7 | Dr. Pepper | 33% | 220 |
| #8 | i punt babies | 24% | 124 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | BOT Ringo | 37 | 0.0132 |
| #2 | Dr. Pepper | 21 | 0.0049 |
| #3 | i punt babies | 17 | 0.0070 |
| #4 | cool gamer | 10 | 0.0085 |
| #5 | ReturnoftheMac | 6 | 0.0078 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | BOT Ringo | 248 | 0.09 | 5 min |
| #2 | Gearheart | 67 | 0.12 | 1 min |
| #3 | Puppy Boy Mitch | 42 | 0.13 | 1 min |
| #4 | ReturnoftheMac | 38 | 0.05 | 1 min |
| #5 | Dr. Pepper | 12 | 0.00 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | cool gamer | +5.38 | 91 | 12 |
| #2 | BOT Ringo | +3.08 | 74 | 41 |
| #3 | ReturnoftheMac | +2.09 | 72 | 35 |
| #4 | Branch | +0.49 | 43 | 12 |
| #5 | Gearheart | -0.68 | 54 | 45 |





