








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 126 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 411 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 25 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




25 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4080 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 17,473 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 5518 | 32% |
| Smokes | 3680 | 21% |
| HE Grenades | 4167 | 24% |
| Molotovs | 4108 | 24% |
Our logs show you have wasted $940,389 of utility $98 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 863 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Evo™ | 70% | 23 |
| #2 | | ProteinBeast | | 58% | 110 |
| #3 | Krugz | 57% | 46 |
| #4 | TeddyBearFace™ | 56% | 48 |
| #5 | ✪Jean^^ | 54% | 37 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #6 | NOIZEY | 53% | 68 |
| #7 | Ares | 53% | 40 |
| #8 | RBK_ZA™ | 50% | 24 |
| #9 | Dil | 47% | 32 |
| #10 | Sachino. | 43% | 30 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Krugz | 22 | 0.0223 |
| #2 | NOIZEY | 6 | 0.0042 |
| #3 | Evo™ | 3 | 0.0064 |
| #4 | ✪Jean^^ | 2 | 0.0025 |
| #5 | RBK_ZA™ | 2 | 0.0043 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | NOIZEY | 377 | 0.27 | 8 min |
| #2 | | ProteinBeast | | 279 | 0.12 | 8 min |
| #3 | Krugz | 169 | 0.17 | 3 min |
| #4 | RBK_ZA™ | 164 | 0.35 | 4 min |
| #5 | Dil | 88 | 0.13 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ✪Jean^^ | +2.85 | 59 | 64 |
| #2 | RBK_ZA™ | +2.76 | 78 | 61 |
| #3 | Dil | +2.67 | 74 | 72 |
| #4 | Evo™ | +2.26 | 70 | 72 |
| #5 | NOIZEY | +1.86 | 83 | 64 |





