








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 461 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 188 matches | ||
| Faceit | 19 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 25 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




14 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2401 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 9,496 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2484 | 26% |
| Smokes | 2550 | 27% |
| HE Grenades | 2478 | 26% |
| Molotovs | 1984 | 21% |
Our logs show you have wasted $702,321 of utility $130 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 164 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | lesob1 | 60% | 15 |
| #2 | complexi ˙͜>˙ | 56% | 68 |
| #3 | Tane | 52% | 85 |
| #4 | LXVELYMARCUS | 49% | 75 |
| #5 | Sleepy | 49% | 57 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | awek | 8 | 0.0035 |
| #2 | Tane | 4 | 0.0022 |
| #3 | complexi ˙͜>˙ | 3 | 0.0021 |
| #4 | LXVELYMARCUS | 2 | 0.0013 |
| #5 | Juunez | 2 | 0.0017 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | awek | 732 | 0.32 | 24 min |
| #2 | Tane | 263 | 0.15 | 6 min |
| #3 | Sleepy | 246 | 0.20 | 7 min |
| #4 | complexi ˙͜>˙ | 171 | 0.12 | 5 min |
| #5 | Juunez | 164 | 0.14 | 4 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | awek | +2.56 | 73 | 79 |
| #2 | complexi ˙͜>˙ | +1.39 | 48 | 76 |
| #3 | Juunez | +1.11 | 59 | 73 |
| #4 | Tane | +0.21 | 58 | 64 |
| #5 | Sleepy | +0.08 | 69 | 65 |





