








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1020 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 219 matches | ||
| Faceit | 88 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 84 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 79 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 68 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 43 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 43 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 35 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 31 matches | ||
| Wingman | 21 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 20 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 9 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 55 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




31 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
6577 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 23,989 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 7096 | 30% |
| Smokes | 3645 | 15% |
| HE Grenades | 6970 | 29% |
| Molotovs | 6278 | 26% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,283,937 of utility $78 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1300 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Juunez | 59% | 150 |
| #2 | complexi ˙͜>˙ | 55% | 255 |
| #3 | awek | 54% | 230 |
| #4 | Tane | 52% | 287 |
| #5 | Jeeveli | 49% | 75 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | awek | 54% | 230 |
| #4 | Tane | 52% | 287 |
| #5 | Jeeveli | 49% | 75 |
| #6 | plankton | 49% | 169 |
| #7 | Sleepy | 48% | 103 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | awek | 18 | 0.0037 |
| #2 | complexi ˙͜>˙ | 14 | 0.0026 |
| #3 | plankton | 11 | 0.0032 |
| #4 | Tane | 10 | 0.0017 |
| #5 | Sleepy | 6 | 0.0027 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | awek | 1750 | 0.36 | 52 min |
| #2 | Tane | 1026 | 0.17 | 25 min |
| #3 | plankton | 778 | 0.23 | 21 min |
| #4 | complexi ˙͜>˙ | 623 | 0.12 | 16 min |
| #5 | Juunez | 477 | 0.15 | 16 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | awek | +2.40 | 75 | 79 |
| #2 | complexi ˙͜>˙ | +1.65 | 54 | 71 |
| #3 | Juunez | +1.59 | 58 | 75 |
| #4 | Tane | +0.68 | 58 | 67 |
| #5 | LXVELYMARCUS | +0.32 | 55 | 59 |





