








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 133 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 70 matches | ||
| Faceit | 57 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 61 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




18 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2720 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 6,224 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1545 | 25% |
| Smokes | 1525 | 25% |
| HE Grenades | 1503 | 24% |
| Molotovs | 1651 | 27% |
Our logs show you have wasted $680,557 of utility $145 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 274 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | MakoCho | 67% | 12 |
| #2 | Just | 63% | 19 |
| #3 | lolmao | 58% | 106 |
| #4 | Klow | 57% | 156 |
| #5 | muffn | 57% | 102 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | Just | 63% | 19 |
| #3 | lolmao | 58% | 106 |
| #4 | Klow | 57% | 156 |
| #5 | muffn | 57% | 102 |
| #6 | Keffskiii | 56% | 70 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | muffn | 7 | 0.0033 |
| #2 | lolmao | 3 | 0.0014 |
| #3 | Keffskiii | 2 | 0.0013 |
| #4 | Klow | 1 | 0.0003 |
| #5 | Just | 1 | 0.0027 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Klow | 378 | 0.12 | 9 min |
| #2 | Keffskiii | 182 | 0.12 | 5 min |
| #3 | muffn | 132 | 0.06 | 3 min |
| #4 | lolmao | 108 | 0.05 | 2 min |
| #5 | Just | 31 | 0.08 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | lasagna | +2.21 | 86 | 50 |
| #2 | Klow | +1.26 | 81 | 59 |
| #3 | muffn | +0.57 | 71 | 49 |
| #4 | Keffskiii | -0.38 | 72 | 52 |
| #5 | Just | -1.33 | 69 | 54 |





