








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 140 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Inferno | 32 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 29 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 26 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 25 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 22 matches | ||
| Premier | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 10 matches | ||
| Faceit | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Palacio | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 16 different maps





Our logs show 18 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




71 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3061 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 5,545 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1204 | 22% |
| Smokes | 1423 | 26% |
| HE Grenades | 1919 | 35% |
| Molotovs | 999 | 18% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,244,932 of utility $198 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 128 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | lasagna | 63% | 19 |
| #2 | Klow | 50% | 24 |
| #3 | Bierpriester | 46% | 203 |
| #4 | Some Dude | 45% | 220 |
| #5 | muffn | 44% | 209 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | lasagna | 63% | 19 |
| #2 | Klow | 50% | 24 |
| #3 | Bierpriester | 46% | 203 |
| #4 | Some Dude | 45% | 220 |
| #5 | muffn | 44% | 209 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | muffn | 65 | 0.0158 |
| #2 | Bierpriester | 39 | 0.0097 |
| #3 | Some Dude | 24 | 0.0055 |
| #4 | lasagna | 2 | 0.0054 |
| #5 | Klow | 1 | 0.0020 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Bierpriester | 538 | 0.13 | 9 min |
| #2 | Some Dude | 253 | 0.06 | 3 min |
| #3 | muffn | 207 | 0.05 | 4 min |
| #4 | lasagna | 57 | 0.15 | 1 min |
| #5 | Klow | 53 | 0.11 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | lasagna | +2.39 | 81 | 53 |
| #2 | muffn | +2.32 | 76 | 35 |
| #3 | Klow | +1.11 | 83 | 64 |
| #4 | Just | +1.07 | 73 | 49 |
| #5 | Bierpriester | -1.28 | 47 | 44 |





