








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 455 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 144 matches | ||
| Faceit | 104 matches | ||
| Esplay | 10 matches | 1,723 | |
| Competitive Overpass | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 14 different maps





Our logs show 54 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




5 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3582 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 9,600 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2444 | 25% |
| Smokes | 2485 | 26% |
| HE Grenades | 2597 | 27% |
| Molotovs | 2074 | 22% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,258,233 of utility $190 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 356 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Rac | 63% | 16 |
| #2 | Keffskiii | 58% | 116 |
| #3 | lasagna | 57% | 156 |
| #4 | muffn | 56% | 118 |
| #5 | lolmao | 51% | 90 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | Keffskiii | 58% | 116 |
| #3 | lasagna | 57% | 156 |
| #4 | muffn | 56% | 118 |
| #5 | lolmao | 51% | 90 |
| #6 | Just | 50% | 24 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | lasagna | 10 | 0.0031 |
| #2 | muffn | 7 | 0.0028 |
| #3 | Keffskiii | 5 | 0.0020 |
| #4 | lolmao | 4 | 0.0022 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | lasagna | 467 | 0.14 | 10 min |
| #2 | Keffskiii | 338 | 0.13 | 8 min |
| #3 | muffn | 143 | 0.06 | 3 min |
| #4 | lolmao | 67 | 0.04 | 2 min |
| #5 | Rac | 26 | 0.07 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | lasagna | +1.74 | 85 | 51 |
| #2 | Klow | +1.48 | 80 | 59 |
| #3 | Rac | +0.80 | 79 | 53 |
| #4 | muffn | -0.00 | 69 | 51 |
| #5 | Keffskiii | -0.43 | 71 | 53 |





