








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 392 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 99 matches | ||
| Faceit | 39 matches | ||
| Wingman | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 21 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




9 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1882 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 4,719 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1750 | 37% |
| Smokes | 1286 | 27% |
| HE Grenades | 947 | 20% |
| Molotovs | 736 | 16% |
Our logs show you have wasted $867,270 of utility $198 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 706 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Klow | 58% | 116 |
| #2 | lolmao | 58% | 33 |
| #3 | muffn | 57% | 70 |
| #4 | lasagna | 56% | 70 |
| #5 | BloodZ | 46% | 59 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | BloodZ | 9 | 0.0070 |
| #2 | muffn | 6 | 0.0039 |
| #3 | lasagna | 6 | 0.0040 |
| #4 | XxKnubb$ä1eNxX | 5 | 0.0233 |
| #5 | Klow | 4 | 0.0016 |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | lasagna | +2.24 | 83 | 53 |
| #2 | Klow | +1.63 | 77 | 65 |
| #3 | Keffskiii | +0.53 | 70 | 57 |
| #4 | FläskDoris | +0.03 | 58 | 60 |
| #5 | BloodZ | -0.01 | 75 | 68 |





