








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 423 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 125 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 7 different maps





Our logs show 48 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




5 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1086 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 4,913 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1169 | 24% |
| Smokes | 1265 | 26% |
| HE Grenades | 1364 | 28% |
| Molotovs | 1115 | 23% |
Our logs show you have wasted $634,362 of utility $209 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 72 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Yatûz | 57% | 70 |
| #2 | Mr.Miyagi | 56% | 66 |
| #3 | SotraNinja | 52% | 29 |
| #4 | Chokes | 51% | 96 |
| #5 | Snad | 44% | 18 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | SotraNinja | 52% | 29 |
| #4 | Chokes | 51% | 96 |
| #5 | Snad | 44% | 18 |
| #6 | Kriposs | 39% | 23 |
| #7 | irl oil rigger | 15% | 13 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Yatûz | 4 | 0.0027 |
| #2 | Chokes | 1 | 0.0005 |
| #3 | Mr.Miyagi | 1 | 0.0007 |
| #4 | Kriposs | 1 | 0.0020 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Yatûz | 190 | 0.13 | 6 min |
| #2 | Mr.Miyagi | 180 | 0.13 | 5 min |
| #3 | Chokes | 118 | 0.06 | 4 min |
| #4 | Kriposs | 110 | 0.22 | 3 min |
| #5 | SotraNinja | 58 | 0.09 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Yatûz | +3.30 | 74 | 68 |
| #2 | Mr.Miyagi | +1.26 | 72 | 69 |
| #3 | SotraNinja | +0.66 | 55 | 64 |
| #4 | Kriposs | +0.13 | 75 | 66 |
| #5 | Chokes | -0.38 | 66 | 59 |





