








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 958 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 223 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 8 different maps





Our logs show 49 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




24 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2837 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 8,348 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3938 | 47% |
| Smokes | 2049 | 25% |
| HE Grenades | 2032 | 24% |
| Molotovs | 329 | 4% |
Our logs show you have wasted $602,144 of utility $114 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 855 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Kriposs | 62% | 21 |
| #2 | robotninja | 57% | 70 |
| #3 | Mr.Miyagi | 57% | 23 |
| #4 | Chokes | 55% | 56 |
| #5 | SotraNinja | 50% | 34 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | Chokes | 55% | 56 |
| #5 | SotraNinja | 50% | 34 |
| #6 | Nuke Employee ID #58008 | 43% | 46 |
| #7 | VLADDYDADDY | 43% | 21 |
| #8 | Spz | 41% | 27 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Nuke Employee ID #58008 | 17 | 0.0179 |
| #2 | VLADDYDADDY | 3 | 0.0078 |
| #3 | robotninja | 2 | 0.0013 |
| #4 | Chokes | 1 | 0.0008 |
| #5 | SotraNinja | 1 | 0.0013 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | robotninja | 184 | 0.12 | 4 min |
| #2 | Kriposs | 95 | 0.20 | 2 min |
| #3 | Spz | 84 | 0.15 | 2 min |
| #4 | SotraNinja | 78 | 0.10 | 2 min |
| #5 | Chokes | 69 | 0.06 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Yatûz | +1.97 | 79 | 65 |
| #2 | Mr.Miyagi | +1.53 | 64 | 70 |
| #3 | SotraNinja | +0.74 | 58 | 68 |
| #4 | Kriposs | -0.34 | 70 | 73 |
| #5 | Chokes | -0.73 | 64 | 59 |





