








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 592 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 338 matches | ||
| Faceit | 79 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 70 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 20 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 19 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 2 matches | ||
| Wingman | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Agency | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 14 different maps





Our logs show 43 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




77 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
7011 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 35,583 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 12349 | 35% |
| Smokes | 9599 | 27% |
| HE Grenades | 7815 | 22% |
| Molotovs | 5820 | 16% |
Our logs show you have wasted $635,584 of utility $49 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 436 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Daichi | 61% | 59 |
| #2 | Pachmielas | Le MagicieN | 58% | 264 |
| #3 | Hyperixn | 57% | 227 |
| #4 | D✠D | 57% | 60 |
| #5 | ZeVent | 56% | 179 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #5 | ZeVent | 56% | 179 |
| #6 | -Rebourne | 55% | 128 |
| #7 | Feubit | 54% | 223 |
| #8 | .dwg | 54% | 397 |
| #9 | euce | 53% | 40 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Pachmielas | Le MagicieN | 36 | 0.0068 |
| #2 | .dwg | 15 | 0.0018 |
| #3 | Feubit | 15 | 0.0033 |
| #4 | Daichi | 4 | 0.0033 |
| #5 | euce | 4 | 0.0051 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | .dwg | 1342 | 0.16 | 31 min |
| #2 | Feubit | 775 | 0.17 | 17 min |
| #3 | Hyperixn | 557 | 0.12 | 13 min |
| #4 | ZeVent | 483 | 0.13 | 9 min |
| #5 | -Rebourne | 400 | 0.14 | 9 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | cabrón福♱ -MOWGLI | +3.11 | 74 | 78 |
| #2 | Hyperixn | +2.00 | 84 | 66 |
| #3 | Pachmielas | Le MagicieN | +0.67 | 78 | 41 |
| #4 | Feubit | +0.43 | 80 | 61 |
| #5 | -Rebourne | +0.02 | 79 | 65 |





