








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 102 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Wingman | 78 matches | ||
| Premier | 71 matches | ||
| Faceit | 49 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 16 different maps





Our logs show 21 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




3 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2599 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 8,456 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2232 | 26% |
| Smokes | 2512 | 30% |
| HE Grenades | 1669 | 20% |
| Molotovs | 2043 | 24% |
Our logs show you have wasted $548,851 of utility $105 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 185 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Pachmielas | Le MagicieN | 59% | 64 |
| #2 | ZeVent | 57% | 49 |
| #3 | Hyperixn | 57% | 67 |
| #4 | cabrón福♱ -MOWGLI | 55% | 128 |
| #5 | Feubit | 50% | 56 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | ZeVent | 57% | 49 |
| #3 | Hyperixn | 57% | 67 |
| #4 | cabrón福♱ -MOWGLI | 55% | 128 |
| #5 | Feubit | 50% | 56 |
| #6 | .dwg | 47% | 227 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | cabrón福♱ -MOWGLI | 10 | 0.0036 |
| #2 | Pachmielas | Le MagicieN | 7 | 0.0054 |
| #3 | Hyperixn | 4 | 0.0027 |
| #4 | .dwg | 3 | 0.0007 |
| #5 | Feubit | 3 | 0.0025 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | .dwg | 674 | 0.16 | 15 min |
| #2 | cabrón福♱ -MOWGLI | 534 | 0.19 | 16 min |
| #3 | Feubit | 200 | 0.16 | 5 min |
| #4 | ZeVent | 148 | 0.14 | 3 min |
| #5 | Hyperixn | 121 | 0.08 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | cabrón福♱ -MOWGLI | +2.69 | 76 | 79 |
| #2 | Hyperixn | +2.07 | 84 | 65 |
| #3 | Pachmielas | Le MagicieN | +0.89 | 78 | 44 |
| #4 | Feubit | +0.56 | 84 | 67 |
| #5 | -Rebourne | +0.08 | 81 | 65 |





