








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 368 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 145 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 8 matches | ||
| Faceit | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 32 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




15 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2072 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 8,412 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3022 | 36% |
| Smokes | 1603 | 19% |
| HE Grenades | 2280 | 27% |
| Molotovs | 1507 | 18% |
Our logs show you have wasted $620,739 of utility $126 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 748 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Hyperixn | 65% | 72 |
| #2 | Daichi | 61% | 18 |
| #3 | ZeVent | 56% | 82 |
| #4 | cabrón福♱ -MOWGLI | 54% | 223 |
| #5 | Pachmielas | Le MagicieN | 53% | 83 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | ZeVent | 56% | 82 |
| #4 | cabrón福♱ -MOWGLI | 54% | 223 |
| #5 | Pachmielas | Le MagicieN | 53% | 83 |
| #6 | -Rebourne | 50% | 56 |
| #7 | .dwg | 47% | 129 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | cabrón福♱ -MOWGLI | 38 | 0.0083 |
| #2 | Pachmielas | Le MagicieN | 12 | 0.0071 |
| #3 | .dwg | 5 | 0.0019 |
| #4 | Hyperixn | 3 | 0.0020 |
| #5 | ZeVent | 1 | 0.0006 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | cabrón福♱ -MOWGLI | 888 | 0.19 | 24 min |
| #2 | .dwg | 363 | 0.14 | 8 min |
| #3 | ZeVent | 220 | 0.13 | 5 min |
| #4 | -Rebourne | 204 | 0.17 | 5 min |
| #5 | Hyperixn | 176 | 0.12 | 4 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | cabrón福♱ -MOWGLI | +2.53 | 76 | 78 |
| #2 | Hyperixn | +1.33 | 87 | 63 |
| #3 | Pachmielas | Le MagicieN | +0.48 | 77 | 36 |
| #4 | Feubit | +0.46 | 80 | 61 |
| #5 | -Rebourne | +0.01 | 81 | 67 |





