








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 337 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 130 matches | ||
| Faceit | 56 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 23 matches | ||
| Wingman | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 17 different maps





Our logs show 31 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




11 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2887 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 13,327 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3724 | 28% |
| Smokes | 3635 | 27% |
| HE Grenades | 2990 | 22% |
| Molotovs | 2978 | 22% |
Our logs show you have wasted $611,094 of utility $87 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 497 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | euce | 63% | 24 |
| #2 | .dwg | 57% | 185 |
| #3 | -Rebourne | 57% | 49 |
| #4 | Hyperixn | 56% | 108 |
| #5 | Feubit | 56% | 82 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | cabrón福♱ -MOWGLI | 30 | 0.0081 |
| #2 | Pachmielas | Le MagicieN | 13 | 0.0069 |
| #3 | euce | 4 | 0.0083 |
| #4 | .dwg | 3 | 0.0008 |
| #5 | Feubit | 3 | 0.0018 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | cabrón福♱ -MOWGLI | 768 | 0.21 | 22 min |
| #2 | .dwg | 640 | 0.17 | 13 min |
| #3 | Hyperixn | 281 | 0.12 | 7 min |
| #4 | Feubit | 271 | 0.16 | 6 min |
| #5 | -Rebourne | 151 | 0.14 | 4 min |





