








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 213 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Mirage | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 6 matches | ||
| Premier | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 4 matches | ||
| Wingman | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 2 matches | ||
| Faceit | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 5 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




9 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
533 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 1,201 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 272 | 23% |
| Smokes | 102 | 8% |
| HE Grenades | 498 | 41% |
| Molotovs | 329 | 27% |
Our logs show you have wasted $231,200 of utility $139 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 306 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Scouter | 100% | 10 |
| #2 | uhkelsie | 86% | 22 |
| #3 | illibabiPLSsaythebabi | 82% | 11 |
| #4 | ddocss | 80% | 5 |
| #5 | Tech | 80% | 15 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #8 | phi | 55% | 11 |
| #9 | Nec | 53% | 15 |
| #10 | straF | 40% | 10 |
| #11 | cmor | 40% | 10 |
| #12 | Waka | 29% | 7 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | uhkelsie | 5 | 0.0120 |
| #2 | Nec | 3 | 0.0097 |
| #3 | phi | 3 | 0.0144 |
| #4 | illibabiPLSsaythebabi | 2 | 0.0088 |
| #5 | Waka | 2 | 0.0129 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Tech | 99 | 0.33 | 3 min |
| #2 | straF | 65 | 0.31 | 2 min |
| #3 | illibabiPLSsaythebabi | 33 | 0.15 | 1 min |
| #4 | Nec | 31 | 0.10 | 1 min |
| #5 | phi | 28 | 0.13 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | phi | +7.43 | 92 | 42 |
| #2 | Tech | +6.81 | 91 | 77 |
| #3 | Scouter | +4.90 | 94 | 62 |
| #4 | uhkelsie | +2.47 | 90 | 37 |
| #5 | <:) htiaL | +2.10 | 56 | 57 |





