








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 2082 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 138 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 89 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 74 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 68 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 64 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 64 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 62 matches | ||
| Faceit | 47 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 41 matches | ||
| Wingman | 25 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 23 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Basalt | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Agency | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Italy | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Grail | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 21 different maps





Our logs show 44 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




107 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
10989 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 32,363 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 13479 | 42% |
| Smokes | 6851 | 21% |
| HE Grenades | 4805 | 15% |
| Molotovs | 7228 | 22% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,257,904 of utility $140 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1766 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | <:) htiaL | 79% | 68 |
| #2 | CptFlicky | 74% | 42 |
| #3 | uhkelsie | 72% | 173 |
| #4 | Scouter | 66% | 65 |
| #5 | T19 | 59% | 172 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #6 | munch | 59% | 46 |
| #7 | seemitch | 58% | 163 |
| #8 | Siren | 57% | 72 |
| #9 | ket | 50% | 107 |
| #10 | ✪ Yøink -iwnl- | 47% | 43 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | seemitch | 46 | 0.0136 |
| #2 | uhkelsie | 34 | 0.0101 |
| #3 | T19 | 32 | 0.0089 |
| #4 | Scouter | 20 | 0.0156 |
| #5 | munch | 14 | 0.0155 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | T19 | 685 | 0.19 | 18 min |
| #2 | seemitch | 334 | 0.10 | 9 min |
| #3 | ket | 283 | 0.13 | 6 min |
| #4 | Siren | 191 | 0.13 | 4 min |
| #5 | CptFlicky | 142 | 0.17 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | T19 | +4.05 | 92 | 57 |
| #2 | Scouter | +3.96 | 94 | 58 |
| #3 | Tech | +3.47 | 84 | 69 |
| #4 | CptFlicky | +2.24 | 84 | 55 |
| #5 | seemitch | +2.06 | 83 | 54 |





